| going out |
[10 Mar 2007|10:57pm] |
I like going out...sometimes. It's all the same stuff over and over again. I don't like the person I am when I'm drunk so we'll see how this night goes. It's also my first night out sence the hospital. Neil is kinda being an ass :S I have a feeling he's going to bring me down tonight. Whatever! I'm going to have fun, find people who want to have fun and hang out with them. Thats all for now.
p.s
I miss Michelle so much!!! She went on a trip with her parents for 10 days :(
end of log
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[23 Feb 2007|10:49am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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I want to die and I don't even want to get help. what's the point? I'm going to be like this all my life and I really don't see any other way to make it all better. it's like fighting a battle I can't win and I'm just getting sick of fighting it. Life shouldn't be THIS hard all the time.
dad is taking me to the hospital at 2. I don't want to be this crazy but I am and it's really really hard to deal.
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[01 Dec 2006|04:24am] |
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mood |
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drained |
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:(
ugh work sucks when it's stressful
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[27 Nov 2006|04:14pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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Dear PMS,
You suck and make my life seem so shitty.
-Self
Dear Self,
Thanks for putting up with the insane amount of hormones pumping through your body.
-PMS
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[23 Nov 2006|04:51pm] |
My Personality
| | Neuroticism | | Extraversion | | Openness To Experience | | Agreeableness | | Conscientiousness | |
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[24 Oct 2006|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
] |
Having friends like this make me so happy to be alive.
"no worries, you know I care about you, and no matter how you're feeling I want you to come!!! Rain or shine ok? lots of love wendy"
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| :O |
[03 Oct 2006|02:06pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
] |
The best sale is on at pase setters. 90% off selected items!!
I got a new pair of pants, two shirts and a sweater for $45. I saved $200!!!!!!
I feel good :D
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[02 Oct 2006|03:56pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
] |
The past few months have been good and bad. I'm totally happy with life but god if I could just be happy in it. Depression has hit to the extreme. I'm finding it really hard to deal with what happened to me, hell I've even did some stupid attempts on my life but I made it. I have so much anger inside of me that I can't express. It pulls on my insides until I physically get sick. I think I need to get a punching bag....
I've been hanging with Anthony a lot and I loves it :D We go for many adventures in the woods or to our tree. We cleaned my room from the hours of 12am-4am. It was a lot of cleaning but we both had coffee and were going like crazy. The room looks done, moved into and totally put together. THANK YOU AGENT A!!
Little Bear and Muffin are getting along better, but not much. Bear is the biggest sook ever. He is currently wrapped up sweater like a sling. He loves it and I have both hands free to type and does chores around the house.
Thats all for now,
W
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[28 Sep 2006|03:27pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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Wow, I was in the middle of Wendy time and I was reading livejournal. Trishs post with the color quiz was really freaking accurate.
Your Existing Situation
Seeks to express the need for identification in a sensitive and intimate atmosphere where esthetic or emotional delicacy can be protected and nurtured.
Your Stress Sources
Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity but is inclined to be emotionally withdrawn, which prevents her from becoming deeply involved.
An unadmitted lack of confidence makes her careful to avoid open conflict and she feels she must make the best of things as they are.
Your Desired Objective
Her need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes her restless and she is driven by her desires and hopes. May try to spread her activities over too wide a field.
Your Actual Problem
Feels restricted and prevented from progressing; seeking a solution which will remove these limitations.
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[04 Sep 2006|02:27pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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Your time has come.
When they ALL come looking for you make sure not to scream or fight back so you know what it feels like.
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[20 Aug 2006|11:52pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
Dear Friends,
Some of you may or may not know what has happened over the past month so I'm here to give an update. I was sexually assaulted by Evan on two occasions. I woke up to him touching me in areas that were not ok to touch. He was awake because I could feel his head moving up and down to see if I was waking up or not. I was so freaked out that I just laid there and took whatever he did to me. The whole time I was saying in my head that this couldn't be happening and I was having many flash backs to when I was a kid with my uncle. The hardest part was that he knew what my uncle did to me as a kid and he still did it. I kept this inside until one night I had a breakdown and knew the only thing I could do to make myself feel better was to call the cops. The cops came to my house around 4am and asked if I wanted to press charges. I said I didn't know because he was suppose to be my friend.
I went to the police station and gave a two hour long statement on the events. They said that there was enough in my statement to put Evan in jail on several accounts of sexual assault. I ended up not pressing charges on him but each day that goes by I feel I made the wrong choice.
This is a warning to all the girls who have contact with him: Please do not be alone with him, he is not to be trusted and I will freak out if I find out that he has touched another girl without her permission and I could have done something about it.
Now, some of you are still friends with him and I can't tell you no or don't hang out with him but just think how he has abused my trust and body, then ask yourself if you really want to be friends with him.
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[18 Jul 2006|12:58pm] |
FUCK FUCK FUCK
I hate stupid people who don't even know what anxiety is like. You think my life is easy? Do you think it's easy to second guess every move I make? Am I walking normal, should i even get out of bed today, if I go outside I'll get hurt, if I sit down and let my mind relax for more then 30 seconds I start to go crazy with what if questions, even going to the fucken bathroom is a task in it's self.
Yesterday really opened my eyes. I would like to thank Jono for putting me down to his sister and making up lies about me so she wouldn't move in with me. How can that be a friend? saying that I steal from people?? Thanks a lot there Jono. You came to visit me in the hospital and acted like you cared, but really deep down you were just using it aganist me. Yes, my parents give me money because they don't want me to starve. I wonder what it's like to have parents who don't give a fuck about you? Maybe that's why you're such an ass. How does getting $80 for food every month makes my life easy? You make me sick. I never want to see you again. Why would I even stay friends with someone who puts me down? No, really this is it. I want nothing to do with people who put me down. If you want to say something to me say it to my fucken face and maybe then you will get the full story instead of just making up shit.
Yes I am emotional. I think of the worst possible outcome to everything and worry about it.
I have never been so mad in my whole life when Jono said my life was easy. Take a walk in my shoes and say that my life is easy, I fucken dare you. You wouldn't be able to handle the thoughts that go through my mind, the hunger pains that are constantly there and would rather pass out then eat something and knowing that there are people like you in the world. Go fuck yourself Jono and if I ever hear that you are talking about me behind my back again then you will be answering to people who know how to shut people up for good. I've dealt with a lot of shit in my life and I'm not taking it anymore. Take that as a warning.
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[09 Jul 2006|05:56pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
] |
Last night was AWESOME!!!
So many people, drugs, beer, music and dancing.
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| HAHAHA its so right!! |
[07 Jul 2006|03:43pm] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
] |
| Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is | 
Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado
"I'm only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say
It's okay, it's alright
I got something that you might like" |
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[24 Jun 2006|09:52pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
] |
Lucky me!! :D I had a nice phone conversation today with the well experienced guy I'm fooling around with. He's like "So, what are we?" I said "I don't have time for a bf and you don't have time for a gf...I like the way things are going"
And that my dear friends is how to get a f-buddy :P
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| new workout |
[16 Jun 2006|08:44pm] |
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mood |
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ditzy |
] |
I found out that coughing is a really good exercise for the abs.
Six pack here I come!!
In other news, I put blue curtains up. They look all pretty thehehee
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[16 Jun 2006|08:40pm] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
It would have been fun to have a roomie for the summer but family does come first. I respect that.
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[15 Jun 2006|12:47pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
] |
I love how people try to judge me when they haven't even spoken to me in over 6 months.
It appears that people don't like me because I'm too emo. so much for alone time....or is it that I apparently steal from people? I don't know where they got that one but I'll just laugh at it.
I love my lifestyle right now and I wouldn't change it for anyone or anything.
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[12 Jun 2006|09:08pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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This is my thesis statement for my take home english exam. Enjoy!
In the novel Tar Baby, Toni Morrison uses motherhood to expose the consequences of societies expectations on females to fill there roles as mothers.
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[09 Jun 2006|11:48pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
Good times with friends, from 16-30!!
:D
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